I still hurt.
Today was a circuit drill, and boy was it intense. I was dragging ass by the end, but I was determined not to stop.
At 4:30 this morning, I began to question whether this is worth it. I have to get up thirty minutes earlier than I would if I were going straight to work, and I arrive at work an hour later than I used to (which means I have to stay an hour later in the evening). It's hard to get up in the morning; it's a painful, exhausting workout that words can't even describe; the pain doesn't stop when the workout ends; my body doesn't recover enough yet for me to have that "extra energy" you're supposed to have all day when you start with exercise, so I'm fatigued all day; I'm getting blisters on my feet; the strain is finally getting to my knees and they are very tender and a little inflamed; and I just hurt all over, every move, every breath. It's really, really hard.
Right now, the only answer I have for "Is it worth it?" is, "I sure hope so."
I want it to be worth it. I really, really do. The only way I'll find out whether it's worth it is to stick with it and see.
I didn't mean for tonight's post to be a downer. The class today was full of energy, it was motivating, it was fun, it was fast, and it was great. There are so many things that I love about it, and I do know that every minute I spend in there is a minute that is improving my body and my health. I also know that with every painful step I take, my muscles are healing and building new tissue, and the pain isn't going to last forever. I already know I'm getting the health benefits; when I went to the doctor yesterday, my blood pressure was 112/72. That's pretty damn good. I just hope to get some of the vanity benefits too. I haven't been comfortable in my body in many years. I'd like to feel that again.
My father died at the age of 48 of a heart attack. I do not intend to let that happen to me.
Here's a little clip of today's workout. I'm in the back, doing abs.