Saturday, October 6, 2012
The first haunted house Ted and I went to this year was Mad House in Lebanon, TN. It's located in an old warehouse in a creepy area near the hospital. Driving up to it in a creepy area was a very nice start.
For your information, they only take cash; so don't arrive with only plastic to use, because you'll have to drive a bit to get to a cash machine. Admission is reasonable; $15 per person, but you can print a $2 coupon from their website and get an easy discount.
As Ted and I approached the entrance, we heard the typical loud noises and screams of teenage girls from inside the attraction. This actually tells me nothing about how the attraction will be, because I've found that teenage girls will scream at pretty much anything. So the worthiness of the venue remained to be seen.
The greeter was a fun guy. Very amusing and kept in character. He didn't try to do any preliminary scares, or be particularly creepy; he was mainly trying to set a jovial mood for the frights to follow. He responded well to our banter, which was the first sign to me that this was going to be a fun trip.
The attraction itself was populated with the usual costumed actors hiding in the dark, jumping out to get a scare. The sets were fun. There was some nicely crafted gore and well-used strobe lighting to prevent the customers from having time to acclimate themselves to night vision.
Aside from the cheap startle effects, there were some really fun audience participation scenes. The "inmates" interact with those on the tour, talk, involve you in the scenes, and banter with you to the point that you feel like you are a part of the attraction. They are not merely reciting lines, but rather are playing a character, and they have fun exchanges and are able to respond well to unexpected quips while remaining in character. They aren't at all derailed by someone who doesn't respond with a typical scream or flight response. They take the opportunity to create a fun and funny macabre scene, and they seem to enjoy the weirdos like Ted and me who prod extreme audience interaction.
I rate Mad House with a thumbs up. I got a few good startles, it was lots of fun, and the actors are great at adapting to what their audience wants. Good value: highly recommended!
Monday, May 21, 2012
For the past few weeks, I've been eating better. I've still been exercising. I've been feeling better in my skin and starting to actually have some self confidence again. Things have been so wonderful.
And it was all shot to hell by a well-meaning acquaintance who posted some photos that made me want to kill myself.
Don't worry. I'm not going to do anything stupid. I've been through this enough times to know it will pass.
The photos were from a big gathering I attended last weekend. It was a camping weekend, and I had such a wonderful time, I don't even know how to describe it. I had fun; I made friends; I enjoyed spending the weekend with someone who is very dear to me; I felt healthy and happy. It was such a nice escape.
Tonight, one of those new friends posted to Facebook some photos she took. I was devastated. I knew that I was the largest person there; but I think I had forgotten just how large I am. I'm easily twice the size of most of the people who were there. Three times some of them.
I know I'm overweight. But I just don't think of myself as being as horribly, unreasonably fat as the woman I saw in those pictures. When I'm confronted with that reality, it hurts a lot. I don't want anyone to see me. I don't want to leave the house tomorrow. Or ever again. I truly want to disappear. I can't stop crying. I just want to hide because I'm so ashamed. More than hide; I want to disappear.
I was starting to feel like I had made enough progress that I was finally beginning to look normal. I didn't feel like the fat girl everyone likes because she's funny. Then I saw those pictures and realized that I'm still her. I'm still the fat girl no one would like without the overwhelming, always-on-stage personality. I still have to be a clown in order to be invisible.
I know it will pass. But right now, I hate me so much.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Real conversation between my coworker and me:
Friday, March 16, 2012
So I get asked the inevitable question, "Did it hurt?"
When a piercing enthusiast says this:
What they really mean is this.
No, it didn’t hurt at all.
Someone stabbed me with a needle. Yes it fucking hurt. But not bad enough that I wouldn’t do it again right now, because LOOK AT THIS IT’S AWESOME.
Not as bad as I expected.
Do you see where this is? Give that area on yourself a little pinch. Sensitive, isn’t it? Now imagine sticking a needle through it. What you’re imagining? It’s like that.
This one hurt a little bit.
Yeah, this one was a motherfucker.
Yeah, it hurt pretty bad.
This one felt like they stabbed me with a splintered wedge of wood dripping with acid. And then set me on fire.
Monday, February 13, 2012
My greatest concern, of course, was my body. Also of concern, and almost as grave, was my hair. My hair is not long; it does not fall in beautiful waves; it is not even symmetrical. Pinup hair is all the things mine isn't.
So naturally I was curious as to how they were going to style it.
Then when all the excitement began to settle down, and Bettina handed me the cd with my photos on it, I began to fear that I had actually looked like:
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Sweat for about 5 minutes, stirring, or until the onion is soft and translucent. You may need to spray with additional cooking spray to keep moist.
Add the vinegar, water and lemon juice, stirring well. Bring to a gentle boil. Boil briefly to let the sauce reduce a little. Cover the pan and simmer for about 15 minutes, stirring occasionally, or until the vegetables are tender.
Wash fish thoroughly in water with lime or lemon juice added. Dry thoroughly.
Cover a baking sheet with aluminum foil and spray with cooking spray. Place the fish on the foil and salt and pepper to taste. Cover with aluminum foil and bake in preheated 400 degree oven for 18 minutes, or until fish flakes easily with fork.
Spoon the hot vegetables and sauce over the fish and serve right away with lime wedges. This is also good the next day as a cold lunch (and if you leave it cold, your coworkers won't kill you for making the office smell like fish).