I have a feeling there isn't going to be a lot of humor in tonight's post because I'm in hyper-analyzing mode. That's not to say it isn't going to be positive; just very introspective. I'm putting an addendum at the end about something positively hilarious that happened at work today to make up for it. I'll warn you, it's a little on the salty side, but it's really, really funny.
Today we did partner work. I partnered with Missi, one of our newest recruits. She's awesome. As usual, there were some exercises that I felt like I totally rocked, and some that I failed miserably. But man, when I talk about failing today, I don't mean just not doing them with good form or not being able to do many reps; I mean not being able to even begin to do the movement. Pretty much anything where Missi had to hold up my legs and I had to support my weight on my arms was a dead fail (I was able to do one of them; I did a few of the straight push-ups with Missi holding my legs up). On the other side of the coin, Missi was rocking it.
I've thought a lot about this morning's class. I've been going to boot camp for almost five weeks now; I should have been able to be a better example to our new recruit. I should have been able to do at least a few of everything. I should have lost more weight by now. I should be watching what I eat more carefully. I should be doing runs in the evening more often. I should be progressing faster than I am...
(See how quickly I can spiral into complete self-loathing? It's amazing.)
Thankfully, my manic-analysis didn't stop there. I was able to come up with a counter for every negative point. It occurred to me that I am a good example, because even though I am fighting all these inner demons and suffering over my individual failures, I'm not quitting; I keep coming back. I may not have been able to successfully do even a single rep of some of the exercises, but I damn sure made an effort at every single one of them, even when I knew it would be humiliating. I may not have lost a huge amount of weight, but I'm down a pants-size. My eating habits aren't perfect, they may not even be great yet, but they're better. I'm not doing runs during the week on boot camp days, but I am doing at least two on the weekends. And my progress is just fine.
I do look forward to the day when I don't weigh so much, and I'm strong enough to support the weight of my own body with my arms. If I stick with this, that day will come.
Okay, now for the funny.
At work today, I was creating dummy applications for system testing, and in order to keep myself amused, I was using funny names. One of my coworkers was going through a test packet using an applicant I had created. She was having some system issues, and when our boss asked her which applicant she was working, she said without reading it first in her head...
"Hugh G. Reckshin."
Our boss burst with laughter before my coworker realized what she had said. When it dawned on her, she completely lost it, too.
So, if I get fired, will you guys help subsidize my boot camp cost so I can keep going?