Monday, April 23, 2012

A Real Conversation

The following has nothing to do with fitness or weight loss. Unless you are interested in the nutrition content of dead cats. But if that is the case, you agree with my coworker and therefore you are wrong.

Real conversation between my coworker and me:

Me: So [name withheld] was in the break room talking to a vendor.

Coworker: eh?

Me: He looked at the coolers and asked if they had any bigger ones, or if the product would go in there.
Then they talked about order sizes, how many employees we have, blah blah blah
What on earth could they be ordering that would have to stay in the coolers?

Coworker: Dead cats.

Me: Yeah, but one dead cat for each employee would be enough. They were talking about recurring orders. 

Coworker: Well, once you eat one cat you eventually run out.

Me: You eat them? Gross.

Coworker: Yes. We should be thankful the company is providing us lunch.

Me: Everyone knows what you do with dead cats is turn them inside out so you have a hat that's soft and furry on the inside.

Coworker: Nope. I just eat them.

Me: Well that's wasteful.

Coworker: I eat it all, except for the bones, and I use those for voodoo rituals.

Me: The FSM doesn't recognize voodoo.

Coworker: The claws sometimes hurt when they come out the other end.

Me: I can imagine. If you use it for a hat, the claws make good backscratchers.

Coworker: hm, that's a good idea.

Me: Of course it's a good idea.

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