Me: Where are your shoes?
Julia: In the back seat of the car.
Julia: You know, there are only a handful of people in the world like me. Who forget their shoes.
Julia: And we are awesome.
Okay, sorry the Julia-ism was late. Yesterday was a little busy.
So, last night I went to the gym for the first time since conquering the alien flesh-eating bacteria that attacked my throat (I've decided that I don't believe the doctor when he says it was just a normal, earth-dwelling bacteria. I think he just didn't want me to panic.).
I did arms and abs for my strength training, and I ran two miles on the treadmill. It felt great. And by great I mean like I had been beaten to within an inch of my life with spiked baseball bats by angry UAW workers. Because UAW workers are mean when they are angry. Not as mean as the Hulk, who is only mean to bad guys so I guess that isn't really considered mean but actually vigalante-ish, but still they can be mean. I assume. I really don't have any contact with UAW workers, so I don't have any frame of reference for this statement. But now it is on the internet, so it must be true.
And yes, I totally ripped off this writing style from the Bloggess. Because she is really cool and I want to be just like her. I'm not nearly as funny as she is, but I plan to study her with the intensity of a James Joyce piece until my blog is indiscernable from hers. I have started formulating my plan to begin stalking her, but it looks like that is going to be too much work. So maybe I'll just stalk her long enough to find out where she lives, then I can break in and throw her in my trunk. I think I can get her husband to help. Then I'll keep her in a pit under my garage. Everyone wins.
I'm not really going to start trying to write like the Bloggess. I've just been reading her a lot lately and her style is kind of running through my head. Like an earworm, but in the brain. So a brainworm. Which is totally disgusting.